At the doctor’s office recently, I had a particularly long wait. That gave me plenty of time to observe the people around me. Mainly, I noticed the women. I paid special attention those over sixty. They came and went, stood in line, sat next to me. Now, I could write a separate blog post on how I hope to dress in my third act, and what type of professional accomplishments I hope to have. But this post is solely focused on our behavior as mature women. So, after an hour of observing women over sixty, let me show you my results…
Out of 12 women, here’s what I noticed
- No one smiled
- No one made eye contact with me, or anyone else
- No one attempted conversation with the quite-friendly receptionist
- No one read a book while they waited
- 100% of the women sat with their faces buried in their cell phones while they waited (and I’m talking about those well into their 80s)
Were they Karens? *And no offense to anyone named Karen. But I’m referring to the name society has given to older women who nitpick, stir up strife, and generally behave like curmudgeons. Now, you may be thinking any number of things, but here are a few I considered…
Why Do Older Women Hold Back in Public Spaces?
- Maybe these women were nervous about their upcoming appointments?
- Perhaps they were dealing with something awful in their personal lives?
- Maybe they were shy?
- Maybe I’m simply judgmental?
Fair enough, I suppose. But then, are we to assume that in their normal weekly routine, they host or attend Bible studies or book clubs? That they hold doors for others who are entering a building behind them? That they thank their daughters-in-law regularly, and offer to pray with and for them? That they smile often, forgive much, and ask God daily how they can be a light to others?
The truth is, it doesn’t really matter what I think. Let’s see what God has to say on how women—especially older women—are to conduct themselves.
Wisdom with Aging: The Bible’s Call for Older Women
- QUALITIES OF WOMEN OVER 60: In 1 Timothy 5-16, Paul details to Timothy how the church should care for widows (but this can easily apply to ALL of us). Paul is specific in saying that not all widows will be enrolled in the church’s official care, but only ones of a certain character. I think this is a clear message that well into old age (widowed or not) we are to possess certain attributes to be considered valuable in the Christian community.
✨ Key qualities praised:
- Faithfulness in marriage
- Known for good works
- Raising children
- Showing hospitality
- Serving fellow believers
- Caring for the afflicted
- A life devoted to good works
In 1 Timothy 5:6, Paul says, “but she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives.”
2. WE ARE TO GUIDE YOUNGER WOMEN: In Titus, Paul specifically tells older women to model godliness because they naturally had influence on the younger women. Think about the way little girls wear their mothers’ shoes and make-up to be more like Mommy! That never really stops. Younger women look to older women on how to age gracefully, behave Christlike, and even treat their husbands.
✨ Key Points:
Older women
- Should live reverently
- Avoid gossip/slander
- Avoid excess wine (practice self-control)
- Be teachers of what is good
Younger women (through older women’s mentorship)
- Love husbands and children
- Be self-controlled and pure
- Be diligent in managing the home
- Be kind
- Live in respectful submission to their own husbands
- Do all this so God’s word is honored
3. BE A PROVERBS 31 WOMAN: We’ve all heard of the impossibly wonderful Proverbs 31 woman. Did you know that King Lemuel’s mother gave him these attributes as a guide for what to look for in a wife? It wasn’t meant as a rigid checklist, but as more of a poetic tribute to the value of a godly wife and mother. We aren’t exempt from this instruction just because our kids are grown, or we’re divorced, or widowed, or…fill in the blank. If we’re women, we should strive for these qualities at any age!
🌸 Key Takeaways from Proverbs 31
1. Wisdom Is for Everyone: The chapter begins with advice to a king (vv.1–9), reminding us that wisdom applies to men and women, leaders and families alike. Leadership means justice, self-control, and defending the vulnerable.
2. Character Outweighs Charm: The Proverbs 31 woman is praised not for outward beauty but for strength, dignity, and fear of the Lord (vv.25, 30). True worth comes from godly character, not fleeting appearances.
3. Diligence & Stewardship Matter: She works hard, manages her household, and even engages in business (vv.13–19, 24). Godly living includes being responsible, resourceful, and productive with what God has entrusted to you.
4. Compassion Is Central: She “opens her hand to the poor and reaches out to the needy” (v.20). A wise life isn’t only about home or work — it includes serving others and showing generosity.
5. Preparation Brings Peace: She isn’t anxious about the future, because she is prepared and trusts God (vv.21, 25). Faith and foresight allow her to “laugh at the days to come.”
6. Words Carry Power: She speaks with wisdom and kindness (v.26). A godly woman’s words build up rather than tear down.
7. Legacy of Faithfulness: Her children and husband call her blessed (vv.28–29). A life of consistent integrity and love leaves behind a legacy of respect and honor.
Now, before you remind me to turn to Matthew 7:3 in my Bible and remove the log from my own eye instead of critiquing other women’s behavior, I already know. I have plenty of room for improvement.
I know that in this day and age of cell phones and social media, everyone is distracted. But friends, that is not what the Lord wants from us! God wants us to use the life experience, knowledge, and grace that we’ve accumulated throughout our lifetime, and pass it along to the younger women! If we aren’t doing that, then we have no business complaining that young people are rude, dense, or godless.
Lastly, on a fundamental level, don’t you miss connecting with strangers? Having those interesting little nuggets to go home and tell your family about after a doctor’s appointment, a trip to the post office, or a walk? That’s the good stuff! Meeting a quirky man who says you look like Adele (happened to me) or having an older woman hand you a pamphlet and invite you to church while you wait to get an X-ray (happened to me, too)? Those little moments can linger for years and years, but we will never experience them if we’re distracted by our phones or our racing thoughts!
If you’re still not convinced to get your face out of your phone and be the salt and light, then I’ll leave you with this scripture…
“Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.”
Hebrews 13:2 (ESV)
As always, leave a comment and head over to The After Club on Facebook and start a discussion! That’s why the club exists!