In case you’re rushed and can’t read this whole blog post, here’s the most important message: Your best love story is yet to come!
I am deeply rooted in my faith and fully committed to a life that honors Jesus as my Lord and Savior. But after a twenty-year marriage, I experienced divorce. There, I said it. Why, after I’ve come so far, does it still feel like a scarlet letter on my chest?
I know God has forgiven me. I’ve even (after so many years) forgiven myself. But maybe I carry the residue on my heart as a reminder—that no marriage, even one as beautiful as the one I’m in now, is bulletproof. A reminder that it grieves God when husbands and wives break their covenant. Maybe the lingering guilt is there to remind me never to repeat the mistakes that contributed to my last divorce.
I’m not going to publicly list all the reasons my first marriage failed. It was a long time ago, and I think we’ve both extended forgiveness and grace. I wish him well. He’s the father of my children, and without him they wouldn’t exist. We both made mistakes. But God wasn’t at the heart of that marriage, so it was set up to fail from the start.
Still, God gave me the gift of believing I deserved to find love again. I never doubted it. In fact, I wanted the Hollywood movie kind of love. And boy, did I ever get it! Today is my twelfth wedding anniversary, and I still wake up thinking, Wow, he’s really mine?
Back in our early days, James and I went to church, and I’d feel guilty when the pastor talked about marriage, divorce, and all the things in between. I knew divorce grieved God, and I felt embarrassed that—even though my new marriage was pure—it wasn’t my first. Then one day God told me plainly: my second marriage was every bit as blessed, loved, and revered as someone else’s first, because James and I prayed together, put Him first, and stayed committed. God gave us beauty for ashes (Isaiah 61:3).
Critical Lessons from My Divorce
- Divorce Happens in Christian Homes
Christians aren’t perfect. Saved, yes—but not without sin or failure. - It Takes Two to Save a Marriage
If both people don’t want to work at it, it won’t last. While God can do miracles, you can lose decades waiting for one. - I Had to Admit My Faults
I made pride-filled mistakes. Owning them has made all the difference in my second marriage. - I Had to Release the Old to Welcome the New
Don’t be the person still complaining about an ex twenty years later. Lay it all at the cross so your heart is free for new love. - I Became Attractive to the Man of My Dreams
Not just physically—but in character. Make a list of what you want in a spouse, then ask: would that man be attracted to this version of me? - God Must Be the Head
When He’s not, everything lacks—respect, friendship, support. With Him first, everything changes. - My New Marriage Deserves My Focus
Yes, I have a divorce in my past. But today I can give James all I am, striving daily to be a Proverbs 31 wife and treating this marriage with love and respect.
I have friends who divorced around the same time but never remarried. They lost hope. They laughed at me for believing a “You jump, I jump” love existed outside the movies. But I trusted that God had a plan for me to try again—this time with Him as the Spiritual Head of my marriage. That’s why I found this crazy, wonderful, blessed love story. Not through New Age manifesting, but through a grateful heart and belief in God’s timing.
What God Says About Marriage
- Marriage was God’s idea from the beginning
“It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18) - Marriage is meant to be a picture of unity
“The two will become one flesh.” (Mark 10:8) - Marriage reflects Christ’s love
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church.” (Ephesians 5:25) - Marriage is honorable
“Marriage should be honored by all.” (Hebrews 13:4) - Love is the foundation
“Above all, love each other deeply.” (1 Peter 4:8) - God cares about your future
“For I know the plans I have for you…” (Jeremiah 29:11) - New beginnings are possible
“He makes all things new.” (Revelation 21:5)
If you’re divorced—or remarried—lift your chin, straighten your crown, and believe that God’s best still applies to your love life! Ask Him to forgive the past, release what was broken, become the best version of yourself, and pray for new doors to open.
If you’re on your second marriage, take heart. It is valuable. It is worthy. If you give it to God, He will bless it beyond what you can imagine.
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