I will be completely transparent and say that I am not a social person. I can chit chat with the best of them, turning it on when I need to. But day to day? No. I am more than happy to stay in and watch movies with my husband, draw with my grandchildren, or do absolutely anything with my daughter, who is the Rory to my Lorelai. Is that okay with God, though? I mean, aren’t we supposed to be the salt and light?? How do we do that from our easy chair?
While there is a strong argument for getting out there and preaching the gospel in our everyday lives (through kindness, favors, uplifting conversations, etc.) there are also very good (scripture-based) reasons to make time for solitude and reflection.
How often do you truly speak about Jesus—or anything positive—while socializing? When I look back at my coffee dates, walks, shopping trips, workplace conversations, and family get-togethers throughout my life, sadly, there isn’t a lot of Jesus seasoning those memories. There are, however, numerous recollections of gossip, political debates, rehashing of unfair circumstances, and marathon complaining sessions that spring to mind.
It’s not wrong to go out and vent, have fun, or kick around with no big-picture goal in mind sometimes. Sure. But, for a lot of us, that’s all we do when we socialize. The days are short, my friends. The days are short. We need to think about things like legacy, purpose, and making heaven crowded. Are you and your friends doing that at Wednesday night wine tasting? Or at work? Or on your walks? Or ever?
But let’s see what God says about socialization. That’s what matters, right? Not what I say, but what God says.
5 Important Things the Bible Says About Socializing
- God made people for fellowship.
From the beginning, God said, “It is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). That principle goes beyond marriage. We are created for relationship, encouragement, companionship, and community. - Believers are encouraged to gather together.
Hebrews 10:24–25 tells Christians not to neglect meeting together, but to encourage one another. Fellowship strengthens faith, especially when life gets heavy. - Friendship can sharpen and strengthen us.
Proverbs 27:17 says, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” Good friendships help us grow wiser, kinder, stronger, and more faithful. - We should be kind, welcoming, and hospitable.
Romans 12:13 encourages hospitality. 1 Peter 4:9 says to show hospitality without grumbling. Socializing can be a ministry when we use it to love, include, comfort, and serve others. - Jesus socialized with people others avoided.
Jesus ate with tax collectors, sinners, outcasts, and people with messy lives. He was not afraid of people, but He also did not let people pull Him away from the Father. That is an important distinction: He entered social settings with purpose, love, and spiritual strength.
But before you chastise yourself or others for being homebodies, keep these things in mind, because they present a very valid reason for leaning into regular periods of solitude.
5 Scripture-Based Reasons for Spending Time Alone
- To avoid being shaped by ungodly influence.
The Bible warns that “bad company corrupts good character” (1 Corinthians 15:33). Time alone can help protect your heart from people or environments that pull you away from God. - To walk with wisdom instead of foolishness.
Proverbs 13:20 says that those who walk with the wise become wise, but companions of fools suffer harm. Sometimes solitude is wiser than staying connected to unhealthy relationships. - To pray and reconnect with God.
Jesus often withdrew to quiet places to pray (Luke 5:16). Being alone can be spiritually healthy when it gives you space to seek God without distraction. - To examine your heart and motives.
Lamentations 3:40 says, “Let us test and examine our ways, and return to the Lord.” Alone time can help you notice where you need repentance, healing, or renewed focus. - To rest from noise, pressure, and people-pleasing.
Mark 6:31 shows Jesus telling His disciples to come away and rest. Stepping back from social activity can be biblical when it helps you recover, listen to God, and return to others with love instead of exhaustion.
Why I Wrote This
I moved to Tennessee a couple of years ago and planned to be a social butterfly. Yeah, that’s totally not me. I planned to force it anyway. It started out well. I assembled a book club in my home, then a Bible study, and took other steps to make lots of friends.
Here I am two years later, and I barely leave the house. Why? Because at heart, being antisocial on many levels is just who I am.
When a new neighbor introduced herself, I inwardly felt panic. She was nice, and the visit went well. I even gave her a copy of the most important piece of work I’ve ever done, my book on spiritual housecleaning. But after, I came inside and began to simultaneously pray and beat myself up for being so antisocial.
God, in His eternal glory and mercy, showed me that He gave me the gift of writing, which I can use to reach the masses. If I write a God-inspired book (and I don’t mean my cozy mysteries!) I can touch thousands of lives in a meaningful way. So, He forgives me if I don’t want to go out for coffee with one or two people. I don’t need to beat myself up for being antisocial anymore than a social person needs to beat himself or herself up because they aren’t a strong writer. Does that make sense?
10 Ways to Serve God as a Homebody
- Pray regularly for specific people, families, churches, and needs.
- Find ways to mentor the younger members of your family on the ways of the Bible. Maybe you’re not social, but they can take your pearls of wisdom and scatter them wherever they go!
- Write encouraging texts, emails, or handwritten notes.
- Use social media to post uplifting content.
- Donate quietly to ministries, missionaries, churches, or people in need.
- Make meals or care packages for neighbors or struggling families.
- Check on lonely people with a quick message or phone call.
- Use your creative gifts (writing, art, design, music, organizing) to bless others.
- Keep your home peaceful, welcoming, and available when God does send someone your way.
- Live faithfully in private through prayer, repentance, worship, and obedience.
The Big Takeaway
God assigned each of us unique gifts, so we don’t need to force a major change in ourselves. If you don’t like small talk or desire a big friend group, so what? Ask God to show you how you can be of service to Him anyway. He will speak to you, so be prepared to listen, and to follow His instruction! The important thing is to live lives that point back to Jesus, not ones that conform to society’s version of normal.